I have a favorite spot to do almost anything. Eating: on my bed in front of the tv.Working: in my bathtub with my homemade laptop station. Listening to music: in my car. Getting yelled at by my partner: um, that’s a little trickier.
We lived in a townhome for 4 years and before that we lived in various apartments. We always had at least one neighbor adjacent to our place – sometimes as many as four neighbors adjacent to us. With neighbors this close, arguing becomes difficult, if you care about them hearing you. If you have met my husband, you would know a good verbal thrashing every now and then keeps our relationship well balanced.
But it’s ok because I learned that he didn’t really want our neighbors to hear me yelling at him either. At some point I realized that my husband’s voice got softer as I got closer to an adjacent wall or window. This gave me some options to avoid being yelled at myself. Allow me to explain.
As you can see from the image below, we are looking at a standard duplex floor plan. The red areas indicate areas that are conducive to yelling while the green areas represent areas where yelling should be avoided.
Husbands this part is for you: So why did I break international protocol and identify safe areas as red and dangerous areas as green? Husbands, I think you know why. These green areas are safe for you, not safe for yelling. Like the soldiers in WWII who stormed the beaches of France, you should be looking for that one area of protection, of safety, from the storms of marriage. (NOTE: Depending on the anger level, sometimes this method doesn’t work and you have to brave the storm no matter where you are.)
Husbands, I believe that this approach will work even if you don’t have adjoining walls with neighbors. I’m sure you could use an open window, your child’s bedroom door or another spot that could save you from certain wrath.
The point is this: Get to your safety zone!
What safety zones have you found?