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advice,dating,dating advice,dating books,did I really do my hair for this?

8 Things to Never Talk About on a First Date

 

With the new year approaching and that inevitable will I have someone to kiss at midnight dilemma looming; you may be in the market for new romantic prospects. A first date tonight could turn into a second by Saturday. I would like to give you a few “not to do’s” to make first dating as painless as possible. We’ve all been on first dates where some surprising snippet of personal information is dropped into the conversation in a way that is as jarring an earring falling into your soup. And we’ve all done it. You find a sympathetic ear and the next thing you know, you’re pouring your heart out like you’re in a confessional. Way too much information can be shared way too soon, particularly if alcohol is involved. The following is a list of topics that are best to avoid on a first date: More…

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advice,did I really do my hair for this?

The Story That Started It All

 

In light of my recent nuptials, I thought I would reminisce a little with my readers. Here is a flashback to the disastrous date that sparked this blog and the subsequent book, Did I Really Do My Hair For This?

                                          Did I Really Do My Hair For This? ( the original post)

More…

advice,love,relationship advice,relationships

Adventures in Vacation Sex

 

As the weather turns colder, our hormones heat up. Everyone is fleeing the Wintertime blues and taking post holiday vacations. You are yearning to lose the layers and it has many of us wanting to do more, especially girls. They are sluttin’ it up on vacation…and it’s OK!
You go on vacation for some rest and relaxation.   It’s probably a time you don’t care about calories, you plan to spend your days with tons of drinks and a lot of recuperation.  Sex should definitely be on the menu because there is nothing like getting back to reality, with a glow on your skin and a smile on your face! 
Ladies, it is of the utmost importance to always act like a lady…except when you’re on vacation.   Girls, this is the one time you are allowed to act less than ladylike.  You are always hearing about how no matter what you do, there is always a double standard in sex and sure you’d like to act like guys do, but it doesn’t seem to work out for you.  Well, here’s your chance.  If you are down….to get down, you can go on vacation and release your so-called “inner slut” and not worry about judgement because chances are (and you want this) you won’t be seeing him again.

Guys, this is the perfect time you can have sex guilt-free.  You don’t have to worry about the awkward phone call the next day or the obligation of making sure you don’t hurt her feelings because the girl that does vacation sex right doesn’t want to hear from you after.
If you are able to do this right, you’ll be able to get in, get off, and get out.

So, hey girl, single or attached and you feel like you want to jump into the sex pool?  Here are some simple rules if you are thinking of taking a dip on your trip .

  • Have a plan. Like a military mission, if you are with a group or even just another girlfriend, make sure they understand the plan and stick to it.  Maybe have some code words, hand gestures, whatever, just make sure you are always on the same page as your party or it might ruin your chances of a mission accomplished.
  • Once you find a guy you want to hook up with, make eye contact, flirt, then quickly find out if he’s available and make your move.
  • Keep to small talk.  You don’t need to know how many brothers and sisters he has.  You don’t care.  The only thing you care about is if  he’s aware you are about to take what you want – no prisoners!
  • Once you get yours. Get up, do not nap.  Put your clothes on, move, quickly out.  If you don’t, you are leaving the door open to unwanted things like dreaded conversation.
  • NO sleeping over, or cuddling for that matter.  Refer to bullet point 1* Have a plan*(*You don’t want to get into a situation where you are hooking up with one person and your friend is hooking up with the other and they decide for the both of you, you will stay there.  Make sure whoever is with you and wants to participate knows the plan!) -Ladies, we can be suckers for a cuddle sesh, DON’T DO IT.  It’s better this way.  You don’t have to worry about hearing him snore, no need to make him a sandwich after.  You get to go back to your comfy bed.
  • Do not exchange information. -No phone numbers, what do you have to talk about?  You don’t even need to know his name really.  No Facebook info, or Twitter info, or anything like that.  Keep it simple and off the social media radar (All relationships should be kept off the social media radar anyway) -You don’t need to hook up with them again.  You move on to someone else.  It’s vacation, you WILL find someone else to hook up with.  No recycling hook-ups, got it?
  • Do not get caught up in the moment beyond sex.  You may be vacationing in a romantic place.  You are walking along the beach on the way back to a guys hotel room and the light from the moon (probably along with some strong beer goggles) starts to make your hook up look like your future baby daddy.  You will think you are falling in love.  You.are.not. OK?  You’ve seen the Bachelorette.  Sure, on vacation, it’s easy to fall in love.  It’s when they get back to the real world that they realize it’s not all roses and rainbows.  Not to say love can’t happen on vacation but more than likely, it won’t.  It falls along the same lines as meeting the love of your life at the bar.  You certainly can, but you probably won’t.

        ……and the NUMBER ONE rule when sexationing:

  • BE SAFE!  Girls make sure you are carrying protection.  Do not depend on the guy to do it.  Show him you mean business by being prepared.  The last thing you need is returning home and finding you’ve brought any unwanted souvenirs such as unwanted rugrats or STDs!

What are your rules for vacation sex?

advice,did I really do my hair for this?

The Ultimate Survival Guide

 

We lived another day and the Mayans were wrong. Now you have to worry about fielding the “when are you going to settle down?” and “are you sure you aren’t a lesbian?” questions from your relatives at Christmas dinner.  Maybe you want this holiday season to be your last as a single girl or you just want to find a quick bang for New Years Eve!

Our friends at The Date Report blog have compiled the ultimate survival guide to dating and relationships during the holidays. It includes everything from
Ways to Get Back Into the Dating Scene This Holiday Season to
 New Year’s Eve: Good First Date or Bad First Date?

Check it out HERE !

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

S.

advice,love,men,relationship advice,relationships,sex

Battle of the Sexes

 

In war, there is typically a victor but when it comes to the battle of sexes, is there? I was in deep thought the other day realizing how far we have come as women, and yet in certain areas, we are still not equal, and still have yet to be victorious. When it comes to equality with the sexes, particularly in sex, do we raise the white flag or continue to battle?

The Women’s Movement
It’s pretty simple, we’ve managed to make our mark in society. We run businesses, we run for office, have fought for equal pay… in short, our proverbial dicks in many aspects have become bigger than a lot of men’s.
So why when it comes to the area of sex why is there still a double standard?
This, along with other topics in the dating world can often stir up serious controversy and at the end of what can even become a shouting match,the only real end to this debate may be to agree to disagree.
I honestly think the fight to be equal in that sense may be futile, and for more than one reason.

A guy sleeps around he’s a player, a girl sleeps around, she’s a ho.
Ahhh this dreaded double standard.
I don’t think a woman should be judged for sleeping around but this is such a complex issue because there are many variables.  For one, because woman are so complex, when it comes to what we will accept and then expect, there often times is no real compromise, thus setting the Women’s Movement…way back.
It’s tricky because we want to be able to sleep around and still be treated like ladies. I don’t see anything wrong with that..but how realistic is this?
It seems as time has passed, women have become less traditional, yet expecting men to remain traditional, oh but only in certain areas, and they need to know what those areas are right?
Wrong. Why is that ok? I believe in this area, we should just let the sexes be. In a world where we want gentlemen to remain gentlemanly, is it wrong to skew the perception of what a lady is to a man?  We, as women, have worked so hard to be equal in society, yet we still want certain things from a man. Do we honestly have the right to draw a line on our progression? Do we have the right to put pressure on men and have them have to know where we want to be independent and where we don’t?
Granted, there are no “rules” and what is acceptable to one may not be acceptable to another. I know it depends on the individual.  As an example there are men out there that are ok with women that have been around the block a few times. It comes down to not judging their past.
My point is that we do not have the right to impose such standards on men. We believe if the guy asks us out, he should pay, he should be chivalrous, and well, a gentleman and then expect them, then, not to turn around and have certain expectations of us? No, not fair.
So if we could get past what is expected or not expected of us, and be what men would like ladies to be (whatever that version is)…do we we finally win the battle? No, because there is a much bigger enemy out there, and ladies, that enemy, is much closer to you than you think…..

“Slut! Ho bag! Bitch!”
And let’s not forget the ever so endearing “C U NEXT TUESDAY”.  All simple yet effective words…kind of like a handshake. Saying that to a girl or doing what many women do and saying it ABOUT a girl gets your point across.  We all, myself included, in the midst of anger, have been guilty of taking that cheap shot by calling another female a name orseven two.
Ladies, when it comes to the battle of the sexes, I hate to break it to you, but WE may just be our own worst enemy….. We may in fact be the reason there are still double standards!
Why? Because we have TWO things working against us. Men pitting women against each other and wait for it…WOMEN PITTING WOMEN AGAINST EACH OTHER! *Gasp* I know hard to believe but it’s true.
Truth be told, men don’t gossip like we do. Therefore, a man will not spend hours discussing some guy he knows who banged everyone in town. Girls on the other hand well….
A man doesn’t have to work half as hard to get a girl talked about, because we are too busy doing it to each other. Ladies, I don’t know about you but I don’t like being called a bitch or hearing that we “cat fight.” So annoying. Stop.This.Now. Seriously…
We make it too easy for men. We spend our time putting down other women when our sole focus should be lifting eachother up!
Instead, we can fill our days with tearing each other down with our jealousy over the guy she stole, or how many guys she’s been with, or…just anything. Seems girls will find ANY reason to talk and a lot of  the time, it’s not good….
All the name calling and “cattiness” a lot of times comes back to sex, and when it comes to double standards, we may be the ultimate demise to our progression in this area.

Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes.  There’s just too much fraternizing with the enemy.  ~Henry Kissinger

Exactly ladies, we get so caught up with the other sex that we don’t always see what we are doing to our own.
If we are to make real progress in this area of the battle with  the sexes and the double standard start with YOURSELF. Treasure yourself. I don’t see the name calling and finger pointing to stop anytime soon but it can stop with you. People may talk about you but try not talking negatively about other women.  Spend less time gossiping about your idea of the “town tramp” and focus on lifting other women up! We have to realize that even though the pressure to be great and be ladies is a lot, it’s because we SHOULD be held to higher standards. Men may expect more from us as ladies because we are, simply put, the superior being;)
In case you aren’t sure why we are the superior being, it’s because we have something men don’t…vaginas. Fabulous vaginas, and with that, as I always say, we can rule the world.
So will the battle of the sexes ever really be won? Will there ever be a time where there are no double standards? Sadly just like the question: ”How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?” The world may never know

advice,dating,relationships,sex

Words to Live By

 

If I say, ” Wow, that’s crazy” or “yeah, totally”…. I’m not listening at all.

So, tonight my boyfriend asks, “what the fuck is your problem?” I respond with “wow,crazy.”

He said, ” yeah, totally.” Now I have really screwed myself. Maybe I should start listening a little more.

Read more insightful tips from my relationship experiences in the book, Did I Really Do My Hair For This?

Buy it here!!

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