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dating,dating advice,did I really do my hair for this?,humor,love,marriage,men,relationships,sex

14 Stages of Comfortable in a Relationship

 

Relationships tend to follow a continuum of comfortableness. One day you’re doing the fake reach for the check after dinner, and the next you’re playing rock, paper, scissors to choose who will make the trip to Chipotle for lunch. Clearly there are other signs that the two of you are getting super close, like going on vacations together and meeting his family, for example. But these are a few funny-because-they’re-true signs that you’ve reached “that point” in your bond. And while every couple’s relationship is different, we think these stages are a pretty good way to gauge the level of closeness you’ve reached—bodily functions and all.

Sending a text without re-reading it six times. Crafting the perfect sentence that is witty, flirty, and has just the right combo of emojis wasexhausting. Now you don’t even care if auto-correct changes “sec” to “sex”.

Ordering what you actually want to eat on a date. Do you look classy eating a burger? Nope. Do you care? Absolutely not. In fact, he enjoys your face in all its ketchup and mustard covered glory. And in return, you let him order that milkshake—even though you know what dairy does to his stomach. Love ain’t always pretty.

He knows about your obsession with Ryan Gosling and you know he might leave you for Hermione Granger, should the opportunity arise. Now if only we could get those two to star in a romantic comedy together. That might be the best porn for couples ever created.

Not caring if they see you without makeup on.  He told you once that he thinks you look beautiful with no makeup on, and you definitely do, so you skip the war paint from time to time. You also skip shaving your legs every single time you see him, but that’s mostly for yourself.

Sleeping at their place and, like, actually sleeping. Adult slumber parties are fun. But what’s even more fun is being fine with catching up on some much-needed, drool-inducing sleep. This is the point where you don’t have to have sex every time one of you stays the night. Sometimessnuggling is just as good (if not better).

Having sex with the lights on. You’re comfortable enough with each other to realize that baring it all in broad daylight is really hot. Not to mention you don’t need any liquid encouragement to drop your inhibitions around them—not even morning breath can slow you down.

Not holding back your ugly cry. Whether you’re breaking down about your post-wedding season bank account or watching The Fault in Our Stars  with him, you’re not afraid of unleashing the epic cry-face. More importantly, he’s not as afraid of seeing it anymore.

Keeping tampons at his place while he keeps his superhero boxers at your place. The jig is up. He knows you get your period and you know he still has a healthy obsession with Batman. Totally fine.

The day he sees your Spanx. It’s time to come clean—it’s not all lacy lingerie all the time.

Having sex on your period…on purpose. You may have had to ease your way into this one, but you’re close enough now to give it a shot (at least once).

Revealing your 7th grade yearbook picture. Despite the braces and mushroom cut, it appears you turned out just fine. If only your middle school self could see your smokin’ hot significant other. She’d be impressed.

Using each other’s toothbrush. If you already lick each other’s faces, are you really preventing the spread of germs by brushing with your finger? You’ll take your chances.

The day he sees your credit card bills—and you see his. If he doesn’t get mad about your shoe budget, you won’t freak out about how much he really spent in Vegas. Truce?

Going to the bathroom with the door open. Some people may never be cool with this, but if you’ve done it you definitely know you’ve reached a whole new level of intimacy—a gross “of course I’ll pop that zit for you” kind of intimacy. But hey, your love is a beautiful thing.

 

advice,love,men,relationship advice,relationships,sex

Battle of the Sexes

 

In war, there is typically a victor but when it comes to the battle of sexes, is there? I was in deep thought the other day realizing how far we have come as women, and yet in certain areas, we are still not equal, and still have yet to be victorious. When it comes to equality with the sexes, particularly in sex, do we raise the white flag or continue to battle?

The Women’s Movement
It’s pretty simple, we’ve managed to make our mark in society. We run businesses, we run for office, have fought for equal pay… in short, our proverbial dicks in many aspects have become bigger than a lot of men’s.
So why when it comes to the area of sex why is there still a double standard?
This, along with other topics in the dating world can often stir up serious controversy and at the end of what can even become a shouting match,the only real end to this debate may be to agree to disagree.
I honestly think the fight to be equal in that sense may be futile, and for more than one reason.

A guy sleeps around he’s a player, a girl sleeps around, she’s a ho.
Ahhh this dreaded double standard.
I don’t think a woman should be judged for sleeping around but this is such a complex issue because there are many variables.  For one, because woman are so complex, when it comes to what we will accept and then expect, there often times is no real compromise, thus setting the Women’s Movement…way back.
It’s tricky because we want to be able to sleep around and still be treated like ladies. I don’t see anything wrong with that..but how realistic is this?
It seems as time has passed, women have become less traditional, yet expecting men to remain traditional, oh but only in certain areas, and they need to know what those areas are right?
Wrong. Why is that ok? I believe in this area, we should just let the sexes be. In a world where we want gentlemen to remain gentlemanly, is it wrong to skew the perception of what a lady is to a man?  We, as women, have worked so hard to be equal in society, yet we still want certain things from a man. Do we honestly have the right to draw a line on our progression? Do we have the right to put pressure on men and have them have to know where we want to be independent and where we don’t?
Granted, there are no “rules” and what is acceptable to one may not be acceptable to another. I know it depends on the individual.  As an example there are men out there that are ok with women that have been around the block a few times. It comes down to not judging their past.
My point is that we do not have the right to impose such standards on men. We believe if the guy asks us out, he should pay, he should be chivalrous, and well, a gentleman and then expect them, then, not to turn around and have certain expectations of us? No, not fair.
So if we could get past what is expected or not expected of us, and be what men would like ladies to be (whatever that version is)…do we we finally win the battle? No, because there is a much bigger enemy out there, and ladies, that enemy, is much closer to you than you think…..

“Slut! Ho bag! Bitch!”
And let’s not forget the ever so endearing “C U NEXT TUESDAY”.  All simple yet effective words…kind of like a handshake. Saying that to a girl or doing what many women do and saying it ABOUT a girl gets your point across.  We all, myself included, in the midst of anger, have been guilty of taking that cheap shot by calling another female a name orseven two.
Ladies, when it comes to the battle of the sexes, I hate to break it to you, but WE may just be our own worst enemy….. We may in fact be the reason there are still double standards!
Why? Because we have TWO things working against us. Men pitting women against each other and wait for it…WOMEN PITTING WOMEN AGAINST EACH OTHER! *Gasp* I know hard to believe but it’s true.
Truth be told, men don’t gossip like we do. Therefore, a man will not spend hours discussing some guy he knows who banged everyone in town. Girls on the other hand well….
A man doesn’t have to work half as hard to get a girl talked about, because we are too busy doing it to each other. Ladies, I don’t know about you but I don’t like being called a bitch or hearing that we “cat fight.” So annoying. Stop.This.Now. Seriously…
We make it too easy for men. We spend our time putting down other women when our sole focus should be lifting eachother up!
Instead, we can fill our days with tearing each other down with our jealousy over the guy she stole, or how many guys she’s been with, or…just anything. Seems girls will find ANY reason to talk and a lot of  the time, it’s not good….
All the name calling and “cattiness” a lot of times comes back to sex, and when it comes to double standards, we may be the ultimate demise to our progression in this area.

Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes.  There’s just too much fraternizing with the enemy.  ~Henry Kissinger

Exactly ladies, we get so caught up with the other sex that we don’t always see what we are doing to our own.
If we are to make real progress in this area of the battle with  the sexes and the double standard start with YOURSELF. Treasure yourself. I don’t see the name calling and finger pointing to stop anytime soon but it can stop with you. People may talk about you but try not talking negatively about other women.  Spend less time gossiping about your idea of the “town tramp” and focus on lifting other women up! We have to realize that even though the pressure to be great and be ladies is a lot, it’s because we SHOULD be held to higher standards. Men may expect more from us as ladies because we are, simply put, the superior being;)
In case you aren’t sure why we are the superior being, it’s because we have something men don’t…vaginas. Fabulous vaginas, and with that, as I always say, we can rule the world.
So will the battle of the sexes ever really be won? Will there ever be a time where there are no double standards? Sadly just like the question: ”How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?” The world may never know

men,relationship advice,relationships,sex

Masturbation Nation

 

I just discovered that May is “Masturbation Month”… this makes me sad. Why? Because I believe there should be more than a month dedicated to it. I

Every single guy I know masturbates.  I’ve heard there are women out there who don’t.  They are probably quite uptight and rigid…It’s just not healthy if you ask me.  I understand if you are in a relationship and don’t masturbate……Ok, I’m lying, no I don’t. I believe in a relationship you should still as well.
Answer to the Problems of Our Nation? Masturbation
It’s relatively simple. The act of sex, masturbation included of course, is the ultimate stress reliever.
Depressed? Masturbate. Can’t sleep? Masturbate. Having a GREAT day already? Masturbate to celebrate.
Ladies, having a bad day but have no time to relax? When you get good at masturbation, it is entirely possible to have a quick masturbation session in about 60-90 seconds.  Once you “handle yourself”..I guarantee your day will go a lot smoother!
We would have LESS war if everyone masturbated!!  You feel too good after to want to kill anyone..if anything, you probably just want to chill out for a bit.
“I am in a Relationship, I don’t need to do that.”
Yes. You. Do.
Masturbation is healthy, even in a relationship because it can show you what feels good and what gets you to respond, then you can show your partner. Gentlemen, if you are in a relationship and you have a problem with premature ejaculation…masturbation can help with that.
In a relationship..it only ever really becomes a problem when you’d rather masturbate, than be with your partner…ever.
If you are single, then it doesn’t get any more safe! You don’t have to worry about STD’s and there is no worry about your partner disappointing you in bed.
Overall, solo sex is just…S.M.A.R.T.
S elf
M asturbators
A re
R eally
T errific
Start the Revolution!
So, I believe it’s time to change things up. Not just dedicate a month, but start a revolution. ….and name it “Masturbation Nation”….who’s with me?!
We could change the World! Everyone would be a lot more peaceful!
How do we do this? It’s simple. Educate those around you, make them more aware of themselves.  Maybe even have stickers to pass out that say: “Have you masturbated today?” It’s for the greater good! We can wear t-shirts, have rallies..you know, spread education:)
Ok, so I may have gone off on a tangent… just a tiny bit…but I hope you understand what I’m saying. YOU are beautiful. YOU are sexy…and YOU deserve to treat yourself well…LOVE yourself enough to not be afraid of what the physical act of “loving yourself” will do to your image in your eyes or in the eyes of anyone else.
Be happy, be healthy, masturbate:)

love,men,relationships,sex

Not Top Secret Information

 

After one of my last posts about going through my boyfriends phone, I have had some pretty interesting opinions. Most people have said that snooping through someones contacts is morally wrong. I was looking through  twenty something males phone that I have seen naked. We are on a pretty intimate level, it’s not like I picked up a strangers phone off the bar and started going through their text messages! As far as questioning my moral capacity based on this behavior: I am not breaking into the Pentagon for top secret information here, people! If it’s such a sensitive subject for someone, then maybe that sensitivity comes from past history. Did someone see something they weren’t supposed to? Are you hiding something? If you are still that worried about it then this article from tech website, Mashable about a new app may be perfect for you!

Nosy Boyfriend or Girlfriend? There’s an App for That

Christina Warren by 


Are you concerned that people might be trying to read your text messages or e-mails while your iPhone is left unattended? As the saying goes, there’s an app for that.
iTrust bills itself as the first keylogger for the iPhone or iPod touch. While it isn’t quite a true keylogger, it does employ a pretty nifty trick to track attempts to bust into your home screen.

Basically iTrust uses an image of your iPhone homescreen to fool other people into interacting with the device. It will then record where people touch on the image so you can see any attempts. Of course, iTrust does have one fatal flaw — if you press the home screen button after you are already on the page the app will exit and whoever is trying to peek at your mail can go right on peeking. Of course, they can probably delete all traces of using iTrust as well.




Read more at Mashable

dating,dating books,love,men,relationships

He’s Not Going To Call

 

If he says: “I’ll call you when I get back”: translation is: wherever I’m going I’m not coming back so don’t wait for my call.
“I’ll call you when I’m done”: when I’m done curing cancer or traveling to outer space to service the Russian space station. Might be a while.
“I’ll call you when I get home”: really means; I’m homeless so don’t hold your breath.
“I’ll call you right back”: get a good book cause it’s going to be awhile.
“I’ll call you soon”: soon to him means whenever he remembers your name so u don’t figure out that you are programed as “big tits girl from bar” in his phone.
And then he”ll; nope , this guy isn’t ever going to call.
Stop waiting by the phone. No answer is your answer.

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