Relationships tend to follow a continuum of comfortableness. One day you’re doing the fake reach for the check after dinner, and the next you’re playing rock, paper, scissors to choose who will make the trip to Chipotle for lunch. Clearly there are other signs that the two of you are getting super close, like going on vacations together and meeting his family, for example. But these are a few funny-because-they’re-true signs that you’ve reached “that point” in your bond. And while every couple’s relationship is different, we think these stages are a pretty good way to gauge the level of closeness you’ve reached—bodily functions and all.
Sending a text without re-reading it six times. Crafting the perfect sentence that is witty, flirty, and has just the right combo of emojis wasexhausting. Now you don’t even care if auto-correct changes “sec” to “sex”.
Ordering what you actually want to eat on a date. Do you look classy eating a burger? Nope. Do you care? Absolutely not. In fact, he enjoys your face in all its ketchup and mustard covered glory. And in return, you let him order that milkshake—even though you know what dairy does to his stomach. Love ain’t always pretty.
He knows about your obsession with Ryan Gosling and you know he might leave you for Hermione Granger, should the opportunity arise. Now if only we could get those two to star in a romantic comedy together. That might be the best porn for couples ever created.
Not caring if they see you without makeup on. He told you once that he thinks you look beautiful with no makeup on, and you definitely do, so you skip the war paint from time to time. You also skip shaving your legs every single time you see him, but that’s mostly for yourself.
Sleeping at their place and, like, actually sleeping. Adult slumber parties are fun. But what’s even more fun is being fine with catching up on some much-needed, drool-inducing sleep. This is the point where you don’t have to have sex every time one of you stays the night. Sometimessnuggling is just as good (if not better).
Having sex with the lights on. You’re comfortable enough with each other to realize that baring it all in broad daylight is really hot. Not to mention you don’t need any liquid encouragement to drop your inhibitions around them—not even morning breath can slow you down.
Not holding back your ugly cry. Whether you’re breaking down about your post-wedding season bank account or watching The Fault in Our Stars with him, you’re not afraid of unleashing the epic cry-face. More importantly, he’s not as afraid of seeing it anymore.
Keeping tampons at his place while he keeps his superhero boxers at your place. The jig is up. He knows you get your period and you know he still has a healthy obsession with Batman. Totally fine.
The day he sees your Spanx. It’s time to come clean—it’s not all lacy lingerie all the time.
Having sex on your period…on purpose. You may have had to ease your way into this one, but you’re close enough now to give it a shot (at least once).
Revealing your 7th grade yearbook picture. Despite the braces and mushroom cut, it appears you turned out just fine. If only your middle school self could see your smokin’ hot significant other. She’d be impressed.
Using each other’s toothbrush. If you already lick each other’s faces, are you really preventing the spread of germs by brushing with your finger? You’ll take your chances.
The day he sees your credit card bills—and you see his. If he doesn’t get mad about your shoe budget, you won’t freak out about how much he really spent in Vegas. Truce?
Going to the bathroom with the door open. Some people may never be cool with this, but if you’ve done it you definitely know you’ve reached a whole new level of intimacy—a gross “of course I’ll pop that zit for you” kind of intimacy. But hey, your love is a beautiful thing.
Breaking up really is hard to do. Especially when it never ends. I’m not talking about the indecisive, on and off, are we or aren’t we break up. I’m referring to the significant other that just won’t move on.
Every single guy I know masturbates. I’ve heard there are women out there who don’t. They are probably quite uptight and rigid…It’s just not healthy if you ask me. I understand if you are in a relationship and don’t masturbate……Ok, I’m lying, no I don’t. I believe in a relationship you should still as well.
Answer to the Problems of Our Nation? Masturbation
It’s relatively simple. The act of sex, masturbation included of course, is the ultimate stress reliever.
Depressed? Masturbate. Can’t sleep? Masturbate. Having a GREAT day already? Masturbate to celebrate.
Ladies, having a bad day but have no time to relax? When you get good at masturbation, it is entirely possible to have a quick masturbation session in about 60-90 seconds. Once you “handle yourself”..I guarantee your day will go a lot smoother!
We would have LESS war if everyone masturbated!! You feel too good after to want to kill anyone..if anything, you probably just want to chill out for a bit.
“I am in a Relationship, I don’t need to do that.”
Yes. You. Do.
Masturbation is healthy, even in a relationship because it can show you what feels good and what gets you to respond, then you can show your partner. Gentlemen, if you are in a relationship and you have a problem with premature ejaculation…masturbation can help with that.
In a relationship..it only ever really becomes a problem when you’d rather masturbate, than be with your partner…ever.
If you are single, then it doesn’t get any more safe! You don’t have to worry about STD’s and there is no worry about your partner disappointing you in bed.
Overall, solo sex is just…S.M.A.R.T.
Start the Revolution!
So, I believe it’s time to change things up. Not just dedicate a month, but start a revolution. ….and name it “Masturbation Nation”….who’s with me?!
We could change the World! Everyone would be a lot more peaceful!
How do we do this? It’s simple. Educate those around you, make them more aware of themselves. Maybe even have stickers to pass out that say: “Have you masturbated today?” It’s for the greater good! We can wear t-shirts, have rallies..you know, spread education:)
Ok, so I may have gone off on a tangent… just a tiny bit…but I hope you understand what I’m saying. YOU are beautiful. YOU are sexy…and YOU deserve to treat yourself well…LOVE yourself enough to not be afraid of what the physical act of “loving yourself” will do to your image in your eyes or in the eyes of anyone else.
Be happy, be healthy, masturbate:)
If I say, ” Wow, that’s crazy” or “yeah, totally”…. I’m not listening at all.
So, tonight my boyfriend asks, “what the fuck is your problem?” I respond with “wow,crazy.”
He said, ” yeah, totally.” Now I have really screwed myself. Maybe I should start listening a little more.
Read more insightful tips from my relationship experiences in the book, Did I Really Do My Hair For This?
Buy it here!!
After one of my last posts about going through my boyfriends phone, I have had some pretty interesting opinions. Most people have said that snooping through someones contacts is morally wrong. I was looking through twenty something males phone that I have seen naked. We are on a pretty intimate level, it’s not like I picked up a strangers phone off the bar and started going through their text messages! As far as questioning my moral capacity based on this behavior: I am not breaking into the Pentagon for top secret information here, people! If it’s such a sensitive subject for someone, then maybe that sensitivity comes from past history. Did someone see something they weren’t supposed to? Are you hiding something? If you are still that worried about it then this article from tech website, Mashable about a new app may be perfect for you!
Basically iTrust uses an image of your iPhone homescreen to fool other people into interacting with the device. It will then record where people touch on the image so you can see any attempts. Of course, iTrust does have one fatal flaw — if you press the home screen button after you are already on the page the app will exit and whoever is trying to peek at your mail can go right on peeking. Of course, they can probably delete all traces of using iTrust as well.
Read more at Mashable